Loving Our Prodigal Children: Finding Peace When A Child Abandons the Faith
- Ray Reynolds, Ph.D.
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
As Christian parents, we pour our hearts and souls into raising our children in the truth and love of Jesus Christ. We teach them Bible stories, pray with them at bedtime, and strive to model a life of faith. So, when a child we've nurtured in the Lord chooses a different path, a path that seems to lead them away from everything we hold dear, the pain can be profound. It feels like a piece of our heart has been torn away, leaving us wrestling with fear, anger, and a deep sense of helplessness.
Maybe you’re watching the train wreck of a life your prodigal has chosen. You painfully observe through social media and hear rumors from others. All from a distance. Drug use. Alcohol addiction. Fornication. Mug shots. Ankle bracelets. Public humiliation. Everyone knows that’s your child, right? Where did you go wrong? Is this your fault? Will they ever come back to the faith? Hold on mom and dad. You’re carrying a backpack of burdens. Answers may never come. At least not the answers you want right now. Just breathe. If you find yourself in this difficult season, know this: you are not alone.
The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 resonates across generations because it reflects a timeless human experience. While our specific circumstances differ, the heartache and the hope remain the same. So, how do we, as Christian parents, navigate this challenging terrain of parenting with grace, wisdom, and unwavering faith? I want to share a few guiding principles:
1. Anchor Yourself in the Unconditional Love of God: Just as the father in the parable never stopped loving his wayward son, our love for our children must remain steadfast, regardless of their choices. This doesn't mean condoning their actions or agreeing with their beliefs, but it does mean extending the same unconditional love that God extends to us, even when we stray. Let them know, through your words and actions, that your love is not contingent on their faith. Model your Heavenly Father.
2. Pray Without Ceasing: How many of us have callous knees and elbows? Prayer is our most powerful weapon in spiritual battles. Lift your prodigal child up to the Lord constantly. Everyday. Pray for their eyes to be opened. Pray for their heart to be softened. Pray for godly influences to enter their lives. Pray they’ll return to their roots. Pray for the Holy Spirit to draw them back. Don't underestimate the power of persistent prayer (James 5:16). And recruit prayer warriors! Get in the trenches together. God hears our cries and is working in ways we may not see.
3. Listen More Than You Speak (and When You Speak, Do It With Grace): It's natural to want to lecture, argue, or try to force our beliefs upon our children. However, this often pushes them further away. Instead, strive to create an environment where they feel safe to share their thoughts and doubts, even if they are painful to hear. Listen with empathy, seeking to understand their perspective, even if you don't agree with it. When you do speak, let your words be seasoned with grace, reflecting the love and truth of Christ. Seek to understand, not to be understood. There is a difference.
4. Focus on Your Own Spiritual Walk With God: This is a crucial time to deepen your own relationship with the Lord. Do you thirst for the Living God? Lean into His Word, seek fellowship with other believers, and allow the Holy Spirit to comfort and strengthen you. Your peace and stability in Christ will be a powerful witness to your child, even if they don't acknowledge it now. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Get full! Then share.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries: This is a tough but necessary step. Unconditional love doesn't mean enabling destructive behavior. It's important to establish healthy boundaries that protect yourself, spouse, your other children, and the integrity of your household. This might involve limiting certain conversations, refusing to participate in activities that violate your conscience, or even setting physical boundaries if necessary. Seek wisdom and counsel from trusted Christian leaders, counselors or therapists in setting these boundaries. Commit not to argue or deepen the conflict. I love the “Let Them” theory of Mel Robbins. Surrender to waiting on the Lord.
6. Be An Example of Faith in Action:
Your life is a powerful testimony. Maybe your greatest asset in this spiritual battle. Continue to live out your faith authentically, demonstrating the joy, peace, and love that come from following Christ. Let your actions speak louder than words. Show them the beauty of a life surrendered to God through your integrity, compassion, and forgiveness. The real sermon is the life you live in Christ Jesus. Walk with Jesus. Let God do the rest.
7. Shake the Dust & Release Them into God's Hands: This is the hardest part of our journey with prodigal children. Ultimately, our child’s faith is their own journey. We cannot force them to believe or walk with God faithfully. We must release them into God's loving and capable hands, trusting that He loves them even more than we do. He is working in their lives in ways we cannot comprehend. This act of surrender is often the most difficult, but it is essential for our own peace and for allowing God to work freely.
The story of the prodigal son reminds us that return is always possible. Keep the door of your heart open. Continue to pray, to love, and to trust in God's redemptive power. Your child may be in a far country now, but the seeds of faith you planted are still there. God is faithful, and His love endures forever.
Navigating the wilderness with a prodigal child is a journey marked by heartache and uncertainty. But it is also an opportunity to deepen our own faith, to practice radical love, and to witness the incredible grace of God. Remember, you are not alone. Lean on God, connect with your church family, and never give up hope for the return of your beloved child. The unfolding love of the Father is always waiting. He will wait with you. If there’s still time, there’s still hope.
I’m praying for you. And I’m praying for your prodigal. Please pray for me and mine too. May God be with us. Always.
You are loved.
Ray Reynolds, PhD
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